What Is Left
by Babynai
Summary: Renji and Ichigo stumble into bed one night when Renji asks Ichigo if he loves him. Ichigo ponders over his true feelings and what he 'should' feel. Rated T to be safe, no explicit yaoi, just a slight lemony flavor. RxR please!


A/N: Please forgive me, I don't know how to make the grey line. T.T This is a short story featuring Ichigo Kurosaki and Renji Abarai from Bleach. Which I do not own. So please don't sue me because I'm afraid I can't pay you. :)

**_What Is Left... _**

**Quiet sighs escape from tender, swollen lips as we fall into bed, limbs entangled. You kick off your shoes, and I kick** **off mine. You pull me up farther against the pillows, sliding on top of me and our eyes meet. I know my fate is sealed; that what we are about to do is inevitable. "You okay, Ichi?" you ask, concern in your voice. I nod, looking away to hide my flushed face. Your fingers trace my jaw line. You bend down to kiss my throat and I close my eyes.**

**"It's okay to be afraid," you murmur, kissing the right corner of my mouth. "Easy for you to say," I whisper, my blush deepening, "You have experience with this kind of thing."**

**Another kiss.**

**"But I wasn't in love then like a I am with you."**

**My eyelids spring open and I look at you bewilderedly. "Yeah, I said it!" you smirk. You nuzzle a few strands of ginger hair out of the way before placing your lips against my ear. My heart beats faster and the blood pumping through my ears almost make your whispers inaudible.**

**"I love you, Kurosaki Ichigo. Do you love me?"**

**The beating shudders to a stop before jolting back to life.**

**"I…"**

**I pause. You tilt your head to the side, your nose barely an inch from my own.**

**And I can't say it. No matter what I say, whatever words tumble stupidly out of my mouth will end up being wrong in some way. _I can't love another man_, I reason. I look away from you, back to the wall. I shift uncomfortably as I think, feeling your eyes caress my face as you wait for an answer.**

**I see us sitting at a table together, not at either end but side-by-side so that we may feel closer to one another. I see you grabbing me for a quick kiss before we part ways for work. I see us falling asleep on the couch together after a long day, us holding hands when no one, and eventually everyone, is looking, or throwing meaningful glances at each other as we pass in the corridors of the Seireitei...**

**And then I see the disgusted looks, the snide comments spoken under breath, the dismissals, ignoring, and beatings.**

**But, well, there we are, fighting side-by-side, kicking ass like there's no tomorrow.**

**I sigh and smile, deciding that it's finally time to face up to what I am. If the world thinks love is wrong, even a love like ours, then what is right? What's left in the world but anger and hate and sadness if there is no love?**

**"Ichigo?" you whisper gently. I look back at you and immediately feel like kicking myself for keeping you waiting for so long. Your eyes are sad, pleading even, glinting in the moonlight that slithers in through cracks in the windows. I reach up to touch your face, letting my fingers roam over your lips. "Yeah," I say. "I love you too." Your lips curl up into a smile and I feel the tension leave your body. We become entangled once more, exchanging kisses and sighs as our naked skin presses together.**

**"I love you, Ichigo," you whisper, holding me close. I shiver as your fingers run down my spine. I reach up to kiss you, winding my fingers through your vibrant red hair as the taste of your lips sends me into a euphoric oblivion…**

**Afterward we lay together, still entangled, still exchanging butterfly kisses from time to time. Drowsiness hangs heavy in the air, making my eyes flutter open and close. "Go to sleep," you whisper. "'Kay," I mumble, letting my eyelids fall. You shift, repositioning yourself against my back so that there are no empty spaces between us. You wrap your arm around me and kiss my shoulder.**

**"I love you, Kurosaki Ichigo…do you love me?"**

**I fight against the sleep threatening to take over at any moment so that I can look over my shoulder at you. The answer is definite this time.**

**"Yes, Abarai Renji. I love you too," I smile.**


End file.
